What Can I do to Help My Son Who Has Been Bullied?

Dear Dr. Karyn
I am writing about my eight year old son… he is being bullied at school. The bullying started with words but now has escalated to physical abuse. Our son is a very happy and well adjusted little boy but lately he has wants to come home for lunch more often and hoping for more snow days.  Any insight you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Answer:
Bullying is so incredibly damaging to a child’s sense of safety and self-esteem. It does not surprise me that your son wants to stay closer to home. Here are some recommendations: First, keep the lines of communication open with your son. It is so important for him to feel safe at home and that he has his parents to support him through this. It’s most important to encourage him to share his thoughts and feelings about what is happening. Listen carefully, validate his feelings and than start talking about solutions. Second, it’s essential that you go to the principal of the school. Children at this age cannot nor should they figure out a solution for bullying on their own. Schools are supposed to be safe for our children and it’s the adults in charge that need to make sure this happens. Keep a log of everything that happens so when you go in to talk with the principal you have everything recorded. Ask about their procedures regarding bullying, what they will do to protect your son and what the consequences are if children bully. Breaking the silence and surrounding yourself with people who also want to protect your son is most important.