Dear Dr. Karyn,
My daughter just went off to her first year of university. She was nervous at first and we all told her she would be fine. But, then, her boyfriend of 5 years broke up with her the week before she left. She was devastated. We still took her to university but she has not been herself since. I know it’s still early in the year but I’m scared that she’s getting depressed. What are the signs and what should I do?

Answer:
Great question. Many teens will suffer from depression after a break-up. Feeling sad, lonely, angry and depressed are all very normal and even healthy. But there are healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with emotions. Most of the teens and young adults I coach keep their emotions bottled up. They pull back, withdraw and don’t talk about what is going on. When teens and young adults hide their emotions, they put themselves at a higher risk of ‘experiencing a depression’. Signs of a depression to look for include: withdrawing from friends and family, isolating themselves, decreased motivation, change in sleep patterns, increased use of alcohol / drugs, crying, decrease in personal hygiene, statements like ‘I don’t care’ or a state of indifference. Some teens seem ‘happy’ with friends but are depressed at home. Once again, this is their way to hide emotions from their friends.

The number one step you need to do immediately is take your daughter to your family doctor. Have your doctor assess how depressed she is. Is she suicidal? Does she need medication? Your doctor will be able to assess the situation and recommend the necessary steps. Since we are talking about a break-up, I highly recommend she also see a counselor to help her sort through all her feelings about the break-up. I’ve dealt with many teens through depression and found they just need someone to listen and help them sort through their confusing thoughts and feelings. Get your doctor to recommend a counselor or find a counselor who has been recommended. Your daughter has experienced an enormous loss in her life just at the time when her stability and home life has changed. That is a lot for a person to deal with. So take the necessary steps right away so she gets the help she needs.

Does My Teen Suffer From Depression?

Dear Dr. Karyn,
The last 6 months my daughter’s behaviour has really changed – since her boyfriend broke up with her. I’m scared that she might be depressed. What are the symptoms?

Answer:
Unfortunately, many teens struggle with depression. Is your teen one of them? Here are some signs to watch for:

Socializing

Withdrawling from friends

Pulling back from hobbies they used to love

Keeping to themselves more

Sleeping excessively or perhaps struggling with insomnia

Decreased motivation

Crying easily

If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, I strongly recommend you arrange for your teen to see your family doctor and ask them to recommend a professional counselor. There are many resources available to help teens through this but they need to get the right help.