The Gen Y “Attitude of Entitlement”: The Causes, Impact & Solution 

You might be thinking – “Did I read that correctly? You mean there is a “solution” to fix these entitled & spoiled Generation Y’s”? Unfortunately, that is a popular comment I hear privately from managers who work with Gen Y’s. Many view them as the spoiled generation who expect to be VP next month, who make demands about what they want and have “ridiculous, unrealistic expectations”.  I think the truly sad part about this is that too few people outside of this generation really “get” them, and as a result many Gen Y’s are grossly misunderstood, leading to unnecessary generational clashes at work.

I’ve been working closely with Gen Y’s for 12 years, and although I’m part of Gen X (note - Gen X often struggle enormously with Y’s for many reasons which I’ll save for another article), my attitudes towards them have been greatly shaped in a positive way because I’ve listened to them for over 7000 hours (yes, I actually added it up). Overall I find Gen Y’s extremely passionate, they dream big and they are honest; they’ll tell you what they really think, and yes they may come across as “entitled”.  Many think they are an “overly- confident” generation but I would disagree with that. They may come across as arrogant, but arrogance is usually not confidence but rather a big cover-up for lack of confidence. Indeed, the “mask” of a Gen Y often shields an incredible amount of insecurity, anxiety, worry that their “dreams” will not be reached, and paralysis at the thought of hearing any kind of negative feedback.   So what exactly is this attitude of entitlement? What has caused it? And most importantly, what can we as managers do about it?

The Contributors / Cause
Gen Y‘s were raised in what I call the “Era of Overindulgence” or “Era of Instant Gratification” (I did my doctoral dissertation on this topic so summarizing it in just 700 words is a challenge). This was an era of well intentioned parents (often Baby Boomers) micro-managing their children, telling them what to do and what not to do, and usually rescuing them from experiencing the consequences of their mistakes.  In a word, these parents were “over-functioning” (a type of over-indulgence).  Unfortunately, what most of these parents didn’t realize is that the more they over-functioned, it actually encouraged children to under-function and it bred an attitude of entitlement. Basically, it meant these children grew up expecting this sort of treatment from everyone, and they came to believe it was something they were entitled to, rather than viewing it as a privilege or being undeserved. Add to this mix the fact that during this time parents were being encouraged to “praise your kids” and “build their self-esteem”– both of which are great ideas. The problem is that although praise is extremely important, so is giving constructive feedback. If parents only ever give praise, children never learn how to properly deal with feedback (a struggle for many Gen Y’s).  At the same time, marketers were starting to realize just how much purchasing power Gen Y’s had, and they were told to “Buy now, pay later” (like the rest of us) and the Internet arrived – all variables that reinforced instant gratification. Overall, as a culture we overindulged them and made things too easy, and it’s important that our generations claim responsibility in this.

The Impact
The consequences of this shift have been many and significant. I was the keynote speaker at a large conference recently and after I spoke for 2 hours on this subject, I had a panel of 12 Gen Y’s come on stage with me to confirm whether what I was saying was accurate. They all agreed that behind their “masks” they feel enormous insecurity and anxiety, find it extremely difficult to hear any negative feedback and struggle to make decisions.  I think their honesty was shocking and a massive eye-opener to the 150 managers in the room who previously may have just viewed them as being spoiled.

The Solution
So what can managers do specifically about the attitude of entitlement? Here are 3 tips:

(1) Seek to Understand & Learn from Them
It’s easy to blame and point fingers, yet the reality is as I described it earlier – as a culture we have taught them this way! My challenge is for all of us to look inward, not outward. Instead of blaming them we need to be asking a few questions: What can I learn from Gen Y? What can they learn from us? Simply changing our perception towards them will radically change how we communicate to them and how they communicate back to us.

(2) Praise & Challenge Them With Respect (Both are Important)
There is power in praise but only if it’s authentic, honest and specific (if it’s not, don’t bother). It’s also important to challenge them (remember they do love to learn) but your tone is essential. As long as managers challenge in a tone of respect, they not only will be more open to hear it but will want to please you.

(3) Throw Assumptions Out the Window & Be Clear About Your Expectations
Gen Y’s often grew up having other people rescue them from consequences, so having boundaries may be new to them.  Some expectations that you think should be “so obvious” to them, are not.  Again in a tone of respect, be clear about your expectations, what you need from them, what rewards they can expect to receive for work well done, and also the consequences they will face if job expectations are not met.

Remember, the goal here is not just to reveal the truth about Gen Y’s, or even to “fix them”, but to better understand them so that as a manager you can help them achieve all they are capable of.  Then you might come to appreciate them as much as I do!